An update: So blessed!

I haven’t updated the blog in awhile, but I just returned from a trip to Rwamagana, Rwanda in Africa. We left on Friday, May 25^th and returned Monday, June 11^th. Several people have asked me over the last few days how I’ve been doing, and I simply haven’t been able to put it into words yet. Sometimes there just are no words… I promise I will find them though! I just returned Monday. I immediately returned to work on Tuesday. Life must go on, right? There has been no down time. There has been no time to really process. I’ll try to vaguely express how I’m doing though…

Before going on mission trips, some people will warn you about the “culture shock” that one might experience in third-world countries. Some fail to warn you about the culture shock when you return back home. Thankfully, I travel with people who understand the importance of the “return culture shock”. Fortunately, I’ve also been through it before. Still, it is difficult to go through. It’s even more difficult to talk about out of fear that people won’t understand.

Here are just a few examples of things that I’ve been noticing, thinking, and feeling since my return. I find myself so grateful for never having to really worry about electricity, clean water, my next meal, etc. I have a roof over my head and a floor (not dirt) beneath my feet. I have air conditioning. I have clean clothes. Not only do I have clean clothes, but I have too many clothes. I looked into my closet Tuesday morning to pick out something to wear for work and was honestly overwhelmed. I hadn’t had to really pick out anything to wear in over 2 weeks. I hadn’t had to worry about what anyone would think or say. It didn’t matter. I was almost brought to tears and my knees by the choices of clothes in the closet.  It made my heart hurt to think about all of those people in the villages of Africa with only one, unclean outfit… I couldn’t help but stare at my clothes and think about the rich young ruler (Luke 18). Maybe I should sell my possessions and give them to the poor... Maybe you could give up a few things, too? Just a thought…

Here is an example of something else I struggle with every time I return home: I get extremely nauseated before and during meals due to various thoughts, mental images, etc.  I find myself sitting through meals and stopping to just look at the food in front of me. I do this for different reasons, I suppose. I feel so incredibly grateful, yet a part of me feels so incredibly terrible. I’m so blessed to have food. I’m so blessed to have people invite me over to eat meals and fellowship. SO BLESSED!  

Still, I have just come from a place where so many families don’t know how they are going to feed their families today much less tomorrow. Approximately 21,000 children die every day due to poverty, preventable disease, etc. That’s one child approximately every four seconds. I cannot imagine… It’s no wonder I can’t sit through a meal without feeling great sadness and even guilt. There hasn’t been one meal that I’ve had since my return that I’ve had to make myself eat and repeatedly tell myself not to cry. Still, I feel such appreciation and gratitude. I don’t quite know how to explain it…

I could say more, but I won’t. Hopefully, I can write more later. I just want you to know today that you are blessed. I may be daily fighting tears right now. It’s not just because I terribly miss Rwanda and my friends/family from Rwanda and the Congo. It’s so much more. My heart aches for those around the world (and here at home) who are struggling, starving, and hurting. Still, through all things, I/We can have hope and peace:

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:1-5).

 Remember: You are SOOOOOO blessed!