Be still...

I just read a forward that was sent to me. People send me forwards every day, but I rarely have time to read them. I currently have over 400 in my inbox. I just scanned through a few though. I always like the ones that are encouraging, especially ones where scriptures are somehow applied. The scripture was Psalm 46:10, which says, “Be still and know that I am God”. What a simple, yet profound verse!

Those people that see me on a daily basis (like my coworkers) know that I’ve been struggling since I returned from Honduras. I’ve been kind of up and down. One day I’m feeling extremely thankful and feel like I’m doing something useful. Other days I just feel useless and like what I’m doing is inconsequential. Before I left for Honduras, I was on a constant “high”. I knew what God wanted me to do and where he wanted me to go. It was never a question. I was going to Honduras, one way or another.

When I was in Honduras, Gracie got excited near the end of our Christmas events. She and Lee had been preparing for months. They received and organized thousands of gifts from the United States. They also had to get the lists of kids from each village, which wasn’t an easy task. Organization and scheduling isn’t exactly a skill of many Hondurans. Anyway, as they were getting excited about finishing the Christmas project and moving on to other projects, I was feeling… well, not so excited. I was bummed, and they knew it. What I went there for was a success. Mission accomplished.

The Christmas mission was accomplished, but now I find myself wanting to do more. I find myself being unsatisfied with things I was doing before I left. I’ve been losing a lot of sleep. My mind is constantly going. I have spent many days the past few weeks feeling very unaccomplished and oftentimes discouraged. I’ve been going in circles trying to figure out what to do next.

I have soooooo many questions about what to do, life, the future, etc. Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with any answers to all of the questions. If anything, the questions have been multiplying (especially the last few days). I’m going to be completely honest. I want to do what God wants me to do. I want to have a pure and faithful heart. I want to want what He wants for me. I keep searching for His answers. I think I found one of the answers tonight: “Be still and know that I am God”.

I’m speaking to myself here, but maybe this will help someone else. If you’re feeling lost and confused, be still. Don’t be hasty in making decisions. Be still and wait until the master tells you what to do. If you don’t know the answers to all of life’s’ questions, be still. He will provide the answers. If you aren’t sure whether you should stay or go, be still. Just be still, recognize that we serve a mighty and powerful God, and wait for His answers.